“You wander from room to room, hunting for the diamond necklace that is already around your neck” – Rumi
Contrary to the popular belief, which is also enshrined into the US constitution, happiness is not something that you pursue; it is not a destination you aspire to reach some day. Happiness is not in the things you pursue; it’s in you. Rumi once said, “You wander from room to room, hunting for the diamond necklace that is already around your neck”. Stop pursuing happiness, learn to discover it.
Most of us keep postponing happiness to some big event in the future. You will hear such expressions like; I’ll be happy when I make lots of money; I’ll be happy when I find my dream relationship; I’ll be happy when I buy that big house; I’ll be happy when I achieve this or acquire that. So we keep waiting, keep postponing our happiness. And when we finally get what we want, our joy is only short-lived. Our enthusiasm wears down fast and we start pursuing the next thing that we believe would really make us happy. And if we get that, we start chasing the next illusion in line. Fact of the matter is you don’t need to have ‘things’ to feel happy. Feel happy and all the things you need will manifest themselves.
So many people spend their lives in a relentless pursuit of material objects which they believe will bring them ‘happiness’, but to their dismay, the pleasure of acquiring something new is soon replaced by a state of despondency and they start looking for next ‘thing’ that would bring them happiness. Just like a little kid who loses interest in the new hot toy once he has played with it. In reality, happiness is not out there; it’s in here. Happiness is inside us, all we have to do is to get rid of what makes us unhappy. Just like a great sculptor who could find beautiful form, a lovely shape in any rock by removing the unnecessary stone, once you chisel away regret and fear, what you are left with inside is pure and simple happiness - a state of real joy, wonder and bliss.
Regret and fear, two powerful emotions, are the two enemies of peace and happiness. Regret is a feeling of shame, loss, anxiety, frustration that comes from something we did or something that was done to us in the past. Fear is about future, something that we feel might go wrong in the future. Real wisdom is to learn from the past, not regret it, and be prepared for the future, not be fearful about it, and always live in today, because today is what is real.
Happiness is not an objective which you would achieve someday, happiness is in your prayer in the morning, it’s in the aroma of your morning coffee, it’s in your phone conversation with a friend you have not spoken with in a long time, it’s in completing that assignment you have been working on for many days, it’s in the evening meal with your family, it’s in reading the book in your bed before going to sleep. It’s in all those ‘little’ things that we all do without always appreciating them. Happiness is not out there; it’s in here. You are the happiness you want. You are the destination you’ve been trying to reach.
Here are few suggestions to discover the happiness that lies beneath the eccentricities of everyday life.
Take responsibility for your happiness.
You and only you are responsible for making yourself happy. Nobody or ‘no thing’ is just going to show up to make you happy. Make a decision to be happy and happiness will manifest itself in your life.
Learn to Forgive.
You can never be happy unless you learn to first forgive yourself and then forgive others for whatever has happened in the past. By forgiving, you not only change past, you also start laying the foundation for a better and happier future. Quran says “He who forgives, and is reconciled unto his enemy, shall receive his reward from God.”
Successful people don't have time for hatred or revenge. They know that they can’t go back in time and change things. From their past, they want the wisdom of experience, and the memories that empower them; not the limiting behaviors such as hatred and revenge. Follow the lead of successful people. Forgive and move on.
Smile.
Happy people smile a lot. Put on a smiley face even when you feel that your day is not going that great. Actions have power to change our feelings and emotions.
Set yourself measurable goals.
Forget the lofty New Year resolutions; set yourself achievable goals and mini-goals. It sounds good to list ‘lose weight’ as your New Year resolution, but if you don’t break it down to weekly mini-goals you will not be able to measure your progress. If your goal is to loose 20 pounds in four months, set yourself mini-goal of losing one pound every week. This will make you happy every week and help you stay on track. If you can’t save 100 dollars a month, it is quite unlikely that you will be able to save 1200 dollars in a year.
Live within your means.
One of the major sources of stress in the modern world is that people take on too many financial obligations in order to acquire things that they believe would bring them happiness. Happiness these things bring is usually short lived, but resulting debt takes a long time to be paid back. Stay out of debt. Always spend less than what you make and never spend what you don’t have.
Make others happy.
Best way to attract happiness in your life is to help make other people happy. Seek opportunities to be kind to the people, even if it’s the little things like holding door or saying ‘good morning’ to a stranger.
Have faith.
God did not send you to this world to live an unhappy and miserable life. God wants you to live a happy and prosperous life. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
Be grateful and count your blessings.
Before you go to bed every night, count five good things that you are grateful for. There is no point in reliving the pain of what did not go well for you today, so just count your blessings, you will attract more of them.
Turn off that news channel.
If something bad is happening somewhere in the world, news reporters are going to cover it. And if you are used to seeing the world through the eyes of the news caster, you are not going to have a worldview that is conducive to a happy life.
Learn to live in the moment.
Whatever it is that you are doing, do it with complete awareness and present mindedness. If you are having dinner, focus on your food and stop thinking about that overdue assignment. Touch your food, smell the aroma, taste the flavor, talk about how it looks – just immerse yourself for few minutes in the experience of having dinner. And if you enjoy the food in that manner, just remember to praise the cook too, particularly if she happens to be your wife.
In a similar manner, if you are out in the park for a walk, just enjoy that moment. Touch the trees, feel the breeze, smell the whiff, listen to the sounds, be in a state of total awareness to your surroundings. Forget the world and all its worries for few minutes. Live in the present moment, that’s where happiness lives.
Friday, February 29, 2008
HAPPINESS IS YOU
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1 comment:
"Happiness is not out there; it’s in here." That's exactly the thing we should be aware about.
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