TIME IS A RESOURCE

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If you want to make rapid changes in your life, you must arrange and design your life so that your GOALS and DREAMS are at the FOREFRONT of your days, instead of them being an afterthought. - Jill Koenig



Time is a resource, a tool you can use to achieve your goals. Time is more valuable than money, gold, real estate or any other resource. It’s more important because with time you can create money (and other resources) but you can’t create time with money. Time is not only a very valuable resource; it’s perishable too. Lost time can never be found. It’s a use-it-or-lose-it deal. The way we choose to spend our today determines our tomorrow.


Today we are busier than ever. All that modern technology which was meant to save us time and make our lives easy has not always lived up to its promises. Most of us are so busy handling whatever life throws at us that we don’t have time to notice and appreciate the thousands of miracles unfolding all around us everyday. It is only through proper time management that we can find time to appreciate the amazing mystery this life really is.


Most of us have taken on too much and are trying to do too many things. Such symptoms are all around us; people talk too fast, walk too fast, try to multitask, and move from one thing to another without finishing the first one. All this is taking a toll on people’s physical, mental and spiritual health. Time management is not about trying to squeeze in more things into already crazy schedules; it is about reevaluating your priorities in life and getting rid off all the unnecessary things, things that you do not really align with your purpose, you calling, but you still do them because you trying to fit-in, tying to be part of the crowd. Freedom to choose is the ultimate freedom. You can choose to do what you want to do, what really matters to YOU, what aligns more closely with YOUR purpose in life.


Time management is not just creating a To-Do list either for everything that needs to be done on a given day; it is knowing and focusing on what really matters. It is also being thankful for your ‘Done List’ – a list that documents all that you have achieved so far. It is the gratitude we feel for our accomplishments, for our blessings that helps us figure out how we want to spend our time in future.


A lot has been written on the topic of time management. There are countless books, seminars, audios, videos, websites which can help you understand the concept, provide tips and motivate you to take action, but in reality, nobody has ever managed to get more than 24 hours out of a day. So, 24 hours is all that all of us have to work with. The real question then is not if we have enough time in a day or not; it is what we choose to do with the time we have. We can choose to watch a useless program on television or we can choose to read an inspiring biography of someone we consider our role model. It’s always about the choices we make.


At a higher level, there are two major pieces to the time management puzzle;

1. Choosing the right things to do
2. Doing the things right

How do you choose the right things? The answer to this question has to do with your true calling in life, your personal mission, your raison d’etre. You are here in this world for a reason. Nothing in this world happens by chance. Everything and everyone has a reason. God does not create a soul without a purpose. Look deep into your heart, pray, meditate, talk to people you trust, read about people who have found their true mission in life. Do whatever works for you but get a clear picture of what your personal mission in life is. And don’t be limited by your past. Focus on what is possible in future. Dare to dream big.

There is no point in climbing the ladder only to find out that ladder is standing against the wrong wall. Make sure ladder is leaned against the right wall before you start your climb. Staying busy, doing lot of things that do not contribute to your personal mission is counter-productive. So, before you learn how to do the things right, you need to find out what are the right things you need to be occupied with.


Here are few practical strategies to get most out of your day and your life.

Know what you want from your day and your life.
If you don’t know where you are going, does it really matter how fast or slow you go? Or which way you go? Learning how to manage time is easy but knowing why you want to manage your time better is what the real challenge is. Answer to this ‘why’ is not possible unless you start thinking about you calling, the true purpose of your life. Once you have some idea about where you want to go in life, only then you will begin to figure out how to get there.

You must visualize and plan your day.
If you want to be in the driver’s seat of your day and not the passenger seat, you must visualize and plan your day, every day. Before you start your day every morning, you need to have clear intention about the kind of day you want to have. And if you are clear and sincerer about it, the day, exactly the way you intended it, will start to manifest itself. So, if having a day full of peace and purpose is your intention, that’s how the universe is going to unfold that day for you.

Eliminate the Junk Activities.
Be very cognizant of your daily activities and ensure that there is no junk there. Don’t do anything just because you have been doing it forever. Just as you have to periodically check your purse and car to clean them up of unwanted and junk stuff, you need to take an inventory of your activities and make sure there is no junk there.

Create a Support Network.
Make friends with people who share your goals and values. These people can help you get more out of your day.

Learn to Say No.
Realize that there are people out there whose only purpose in life to waste their time and waste your time. So you better learn to say no to them. Your are a finite being with finite time and if a cousin asks you for a ride to a theater on an evening that was meant to be spent studying for an exam you better learn to say no.

Focus on Big Rocks.
Every morning create a list of the main tasks or the big rocks, prioritize them and start working on them before the filler tasks such as cleaning up the desk or organizing files start popping up. Keeping busy does not equate to accomplishing things. Filler tasks find their place; try to move the big rocks first. Things that matter most in your life should never be at the mercy of the things that matter least. Think of your day as a bucket and your daily activities as big rocks, small stones, sand and water. Put the big rocks first, then stones, then sand followed by water and you have a much better chance at fitting it all in. Try to do most important things first.

Let go of the past.
Don't live out of your past. Live for the future vision you have in your heart. You are not what you have achieved or have become in your life so far; you are what you are capable of becoming in the future. You are not your past; you are your potential for the future. Unless you let go of your past, you will never be fully able to live in your present. And present is where you want to be if you want to build the foundation for a peaceful and prosperous future. Spend your today the most productive and purposeful way possible, the future you dream of will start to manifest itself.

HAPPINESS IS YOU

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“You wander from room to room, hunting for the diamond necklace that is already around your neck” – Rumi

Contrary to the popular belief, which is also enshrined into the US constitution, happiness is not something that you pursue; it is not a destination you aspire to reach some day. Happiness is not in the things you pursue; it’s in you. Rumi once said, “You wander from room to room, hunting for the diamond necklace that is already around your neck”. Stop pursuing happiness, learn to discover it.

Most of us keep postponing happiness to some big event in the future. You will hear such expressions like; I’ll be happy when I make lots of money; I’ll be happy when I find my dream relationship; I’ll be happy when I buy that big house; I’ll be happy when I achieve this or acquire that. So we keep waiting, keep postponing our happiness. And when we finally get what we want, our joy is only short-lived. Our enthusiasm wears down fast and we start pursuing the next thing that we believe would really make us happy. And if we get that, we start chasing the next illusion in line. Fact of the matter is you don’t need to have ‘things’ to feel happy. Feel happy and all the things you need will manifest themselves.

So many people spend their lives in a relentless pursuit of material objects which they believe will bring them ‘happiness’, but to their dismay, the pleasure of acquiring something new is soon replaced by a state of despondency and they start looking for next ‘thing’ that would bring them happiness. Just like a little kid who loses interest in the new hot toy once he has played with it. In reality, happiness is not out there; it’s in here. Happiness is inside us, all we have to do is to get rid of what makes us unhappy. Just like a great sculptor who could find beautiful form, a lovely shape in any rock by removing the unnecessary stone, once you chisel away regret and fear, what you are left with inside is pure and simple happiness - a state of real joy, wonder and bliss.

Regret and fear, two powerful emotions, are the two enemies of peace and happiness. Regret is a feeling of shame, loss, anxiety, frustration that comes from something we did or something that was done to us in the past. Fear is about future, something that we feel might go wrong in the future. Real wisdom is to learn from the past, not regret it, and be prepared for the future, not be fearful about it, and always live in today, because today is what is real.

Happiness is not an objective which you would achieve someday, happiness is in your prayer in the morning, it’s in the aroma of your morning coffee, it’s in your phone conversation with a friend you have not spoken with in a long time, it’s in completing that assignment you have been working on for many days, it’s in the evening meal with your family, it’s in reading the book in your bed before going to sleep. It’s in all those ‘little’ things that we all do without always appreciating them. Happiness is not out there; it’s in here. You are the happiness you want. You are the destination you’ve been trying to reach.

Here are few suggestions to discover the happiness that lies beneath the eccentricities of everyday life.

Take responsibility for your happiness.
You and only you are responsible for making yourself happy. Nobody or ‘no thing’ is just going to show up to make you happy. Make a decision to be happy and happiness will manifest itself in your life.

Learn to Forgive.
You can never be happy unless you learn to first forgive yourself and then forgive others for whatever has happened in the past. By forgiving, you not only change past, you also start laying the foundation for a better and happier future. Quran says “He who forgives, and is reconciled unto his enemy, shall receive his reward from God.”
Successful people don't have time for hatred or revenge. They know that they can’t go back in time and change things. From their past, they want the wisdom of experience, and the memories that empower them; not the limiting behaviors such as hatred and revenge. Follow the lead of successful people. Forgive and move on.


Smile.
Happy people smile a lot. Put on a smiley face even when you feel that your day is not going that great. Actions have power to change our feelings and emotions.

Set yourself measurable goals.
Forget the lofty New Year resolutions; set yourself achievable goals and mini-goals. It sounds good to list ‘lose weight’ as your New Year resolution, but if you don’t break it down to weekly mini-goals you will not be able to measure your progress. If your goal is to loose 20 pounds in four months, set yourself mini-goal of losing one pound every week. This will make you happy every week and help you stay on track. If you can’t save 100 dollars a month, it is quite unlikely that you will be able to save 1200 dollars in a year.

Live within your means.
One of the major sources of stress in the modern world is that people take on too many financial obligations in order to acquire things that they believe would bring them happiness. Happiness these things bring is usually short lived, but resulting debt takes a long time to be paid back. Stay out of debt. Always spend less than what you make and never spend what you don’t have.

Make others happy.
Best way to attract happiness in your life is to help make other people happy. Seek opportunities to be kind to the people, even if it’s the little things like holding door or saying ‘good morning’ to a stranger.

Have faith.
God did not send you to this world to live an unhappy and miserable life. God wants you to live a happy and prosperous life. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

Be grateful and count your blessings.
Before you go to bed every night, count five good things that you are grateful for. There is no point in reliving the pain of what did not go well for you today, so just count your blessings, you will attract more of them.

Turn off that news channel.
If something bad is happening somewhere in the world, news reporters are going to cover it. And if you are used to seeing the world through the eyes of the news caster, you are not going to have a worldview that is conducive to a happy life.

Learn to live in the moment.
Whatever it is that you are doing, do it with complete awareness and present mindedness. If you are having dinner, focus on your food and stop thinking about that overdue assignment. Touch your food, smell the aroma, taste the flavor, talk about how it looks – just immerse yourself for few minutes in the experience of having dinner. And if you enjoy the food in that manner, just remember to praise the cook too, particularly if she happens to be your wife.
In a similar manner, if you are out in the park for a walk, just enjoy that moment. Touch the trees, feel the breeze, smell the whiff, listen to the sounds, be in a state of total awareness to your surroundings. Forget the world and all its worries for few minutes. Live in the present moment, that’s where happiness lives.

PEOPLE MAKE THE DIFFERENCE

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"The greatest genius will never be worth much if he pretends to draw exclusively from his own resources."- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The quickest way to change your life is to make friends with the people who aspire and embody the change you want in your life. People whose goals and values are aligned with your goals and values can make your journey easy and exciting.

Kind of people you choose to be associated with and be friends with is important because you can’t be a success if everyone around you is a failure; you can’t have a positive attitude if all your friends are full of negativity; you are not likely to become a police officer if you are hanging out with thieves; your chances of becoming a history professor are not going to be very high if everyone around you is into wrestling.

You are the writer and director of this movie called your life. You get to write the story and choose the actors. You have a choice to select people to play a part in this movie. Who makes an entrance at what scene and when they leave the scene; you get to choose all that. Nobody should be able to take that choice away from you. It’s your life. But this empowerment comes with a huge responsibility. Having a trusted group of advisors and friends around will always be helpful. They will keep you real.

People who develop great relationships and friendships always focus on what others need. They are always looking for opportunities to help others. They are connectors; they connect people to one another. They are experts in their fields, people come to them for advice and they always seem to have the right answers. They are also great listeners; they posses the ability to listen to others without being judgmental.

Tim Sanders - a well known leadership coach - in his wonderfully written book “Love Is the Killer App: How to Win Business and Influence Friends” states that it’s the personal relationships more than anything that determines success at work. Sanders recommends a combination of knowledge, network and compassion for connecting with people at an emotional level. He ends his book with a great thought: “long after you’re gone, people will forget what you said or what you did, but they’ll never forget how you made them feel.”

One of the best examples of the transformational powers of friendship is the story of Rumi and Shams Tabriz. Rumi was not really Rumi until he met Shams Tabriz. Shams Tabriz has been in search all his life for someone who could answer his questions not just by quoting books and scripture but from heart, from personal experience. He found his man in Rumi. Rumi also found out that Shams could teach him what no book could ever teach him. A chance encounter in a bazaar in Konya changed Rumi’s life forever. Shams’s friendship elevated Rumi from a scholar to a philosopher, by helping Rumi expand his understanding of love, humanity and oneness of God. Rumi’s best poetry, which continues to fascinate the people around the world to this date, came after Shams left, never to come back again.

“Why should I seek? I am the same as he.
His essence speaks through me.
I have been searching for myself”


Keep on the look for your Shams Tabriz; you might discover the Rumi inside you.


Here are some practical tips to make friends and network with the right people.


Greet people with openness, warmth and curiosity.
When you meet new people, be open, warm, and curious. Greet them with a smile on your face, shake their hands firmly and show genuine curiosity by asking questions and listening. Don’t try to impress them, just be open and willing to get impressed. What really matter here is how you make people feel about themselves, not how they feel about you. Before they open and listen to your story, they want to be heard and they want to make sure that you care about them. People like people who make them feel better and important.


Become a great listener.
Active and empathic listening is the most important tool to build connections with people. Key to listening is focusing on the other person, making a sincere effort to understand what other person have to say without worrying about what you have to say when other person stops talking. Don't give advice, don't pass a judgment, don't interrupt for corrections, and don’t readily dismiss other person view point. Just listen with a sincere desire to understand.
Let the person know that you understand what they are saying. Empathize with what they are feeling. Help them open up with encouraging words and gestures. But don’t start your own story. Make sure that they feel heard and understood before conversation turns to you.
Also, pay close attention to non-verbal communication. It’s said that 80 percent of the communications happens through non-verbal means. Pay attention to facial expression, posture, tone, and emotions will help you better understand the people.


Keep contacts alive.
Great friendships don’t just happen, they need to be nurtured and looked after. Stay in touch. Rapid growth in internet technologies such as email, instant messaging, social & professional networking websites, etc. in recent years has made it very convenient to stay in touch with people even when they are geographically dispersed through out the world.
Share that article you read this morning to your selected contacts on your contact list who could be interested in that subject. Invite your family and friends to see the pictures of your latest fishing trip on your online album. Make time on weekends to call people and see how they are doing. People trust people who they have known for sometime.


Let go of shyness.
There is no need to be timid and shy when it comes to going to a stranger, say hello and introducing yourself. Chances are that other person will be glad that you took the first step and relieved them of the pressure to do the same. Create opportunities to talk to the right people. Learn to introduce yourself and make small talk. So, next time you are at a party or a meeting, show some courage and introduce yourself to people who appear to be compatible with you, get curious and try to know more about them, exchange business cards, and don’t forget to follow up.


Be fun to be around.
You don’t have to be Jerry Seinfeld for people to like you, just loosen up a little, let go of that angry look on your face, smile and be curious. There is no need to take every thing too seriously. Meeting new people and making friends is fun activity. Keep it that way.


Make people feel good.
People like people who make them feel good, appreciated, and important. Never put people down. Don’t try to win every argument. Sometimes it’s better to be happy than to be right. You don’t always have to be the person with the best story to tell. Let other people shine. Allow them to be a hero even when you think that you have all the answers. Show some humility. It’s ok to say sorry even when you know for sure that you are right. People don’t always like smart people who make them feel worthless, they rather prefer average people who make them feel valuable. Praise people for whatever you find good about them. It could be a nice shirt they are wearing, their sense of humor or their point of view. Be genuine but always look for opportunities to praise what you see as praiseworthy.



Make yourself visible.
At parties and other social occasions don’t just sit in the corner focused on your food. Walk around and make yourself visible.


Reach out to people when they need help.
People remember those who helped them when they were down, weak, and vulnerable. Seek out and reach out to such people, they will remember your kindness and generosity long after you have forgotten it.