Tuesday, August 10, 2010

See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil




At the main entrance of an ancient shrine in Nikkō, Japan there are statues of the three wise monkeys named Mizaru, Kikazaru and Iwazaru. For centuries, they have been sending a special message to the world;

Mizaru is covering his eyes with his hands indicating “see no evil”

Kikazaru is covering his ears indicating “hear no evil”

Iwazaru is covering his mouth indicating “speak no evil”

This centuries’ old pictorial maxim with its profound message of “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil” has helped countless people avoid the traps of evil.

So how is this ancient message relevant to us today? It is more relevant that ever before. Here are some examples;

Media with its army of talk show hosts, experts and reporters who are hell bend on finding anything and everything that they perceive to be wrong and evil and constantly bombarding their viewers with it.

Politicians and civic leaders whose sole focus is to point out the “evil” and holding the other party responsible for it.

Managers and consultants who specialize in being “problem solvers” and “trouble shooters” can only see problems. Even when they can’t find a real problem, they create one, so they can solve it.

Parents who only pay attention to their children when they are doing something wrong – they never “catch” their kids doing something right.

People who will instantly notice “evil” in others but will never see, hear and talk about what is good.

People wanting to “vent” about people in their lives they perceive as bad, not really realizing that their venting is only intensifying not only their own misery but also making other people miserable.


Life is like Google. If you search for “life sucks” on Google, you are going to find millions of matches and if you really start reading them you will have no trouble justifying why your life really sucks. But if you search for “life is great”, you are sure to fund countless matches and reasons for that too. Like Google, universe just returns to you what you are searching for - if you are searching for misery, gloom, and evil, you are certainly going to find plenty of it, but if your search is for joy, bliss and good, that’s exactly you, are likely to find.


You not only change yourself by looking at the world positively, you actually can change the world that you look at. As Dr Wayne Dyer – a leader in field of positive psychology – once said “When you change the way you look at things – the things you look at change!” Life is not what happens to us, life is how we respond to what happens to us. And your response determines the life that you create for yourself. Don’t limit yourself by old habitual ways of seeing, hearing and speaking evil. Learn to see, hear and speak “good” – the positive.


Describing the qualities of the righteous people, this is how Quran addresses this issue;

“… When the ignorant talk to them, they say, "Goodbye!"

Simply say “peace”, “goodbye” or “take care” and walk away, you don’t have to hear or react to every ignorant in the world out there. Don’t feel compelled to understand and “fix” every evil in the world. You will simply become one in the process. Focus on good and good is what will be returned to you.


In many modern management philosophies emphasis has been on “trouble shooting” or “problem solving”. Coupled with training on how to solve problems, consultants and managers see people, projects and organization as problems to be solved. There is no shortage of managers who take great pride in being “trouble shooters” or “problem solvers”. But there is a big problem with this approach. If you see your role as being a “trouble shooter” or “problem solver”, to you, everything is going to look like trouble or problem to be solved. As the maxim goes; if all you have hammer, everything looks like a nail. But there is hope. In the world of management consulting there is a new philosophy called “Appreciative Inquiry” or AI. AI puts a modern spin to the age old truth of “see no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil” by focusing on (and appreciating) what works as opposed to what does not work. AI focuses on strengths, successes, and dreams, to bring positive change to human systems and organizations.


Breaking lifelong habits is not easy, but being mindful of what you see, hear and speak is certainly a first step towards it. I recently learned “rubber-band therapy” trick of mindfulness from a friend that you might useful. Find a nice sturdy rubber band – any color would do it but go for the red color if you could find one. Put it around your wrist. Anytime you find yourself hearing, seeing or speaking “evil”, pull the rubber band with the other hand then let it go…I know, I know it’s going to hurt. But trust me hurt caused by the rubber band is lot less than the hurt caused by you going down the path of “evil”. So go ahead, try this rubber-band therapy, this might be the help you need to break you age-old pattern of negative behavior.

Here is a very fascinating story that I came across recently:

"One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And, I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.' He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.”


If evil is what you see, hear and speak; evil is what you are likely to become, and if good is what you see, hear and speak, good is what you become…that’s just the way it works. So choose to see the good side of the world around you, walk away from people trying to dump their garbage on you and think before you speak…if you can’t speak with kindness and love, it’s probably better to stay quiet.


All this is very simple and easy. But for some, an easy message can’t be of any value. They are used to things so complicated that they need intermediaries just to understand them, forget about being able to practice them. Things are made complicated by those who want to control you by being interdediaries. Easy is right, and right is easy. if it’s not easy, it probably not right.


So if you want to live on the good side of life, stop seeing, hearing and speaking eveil. Life is good. Live it.


Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Success is the Best Revenge





The seeds of great success are often right in front of you, hidden in the ashes of adversity

~ Francis Ford Coppola


Epictetus (AD 55–AD 135) – a Roman stoic philosopher - once said, "Adversity introduces a person to himself." Epictetus believed that there are things that are beyond our control and then there are things that are in our control. To him, the primary responsibility of individuals is to manage their own actions through rigorous self discipline. Suffering, in his view comes from trying to control things that are beyond our control and not focusing on what is controllable.

How do you respond to adversity? By managing your actions through rigorous self discipline or by trying to control and constantly worrying about those things that are beyond your control? For most of us, it’s probably a combination of both. It’s because we are human. But the most effective response is to focus on yourself and focus on the things that you can control.

Napoleon Hill once said, "Every adversity carries with it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit." This seed, however, need to be nurtured. It takes rigorous self discipline to convert the sadness and pain caused by the adversity into a fuel for positive change. If you want to get even with those who want to harm you, focus on yourself and be the best you can be. Success is the best revenge, if revenge is what you are looking for.

Adversity can give you purpose. Sorrow and pain caused by the adversity can give you a new sense of direction. Adversity can help you find real you. You can choose to use adversity to change your old mediocre ways of living and set yourself on a new path of abundance, success and power. Take a look at the example of Jewish people in recent decades. There are few parallels to the pain and sufferings of the Jewish people under Nazis’ during the World War II. They used that pain and suffering to fuel their commitment to their empowerment. Steven Peas, author of “The Golden Age of Jewish Achievement”, chronicles an amazing history of Jewish achievement and contribution to the civilization in modern times. Jews are only .00207 percent of the World's population, but look at their percentage in various high achiever groups;

  • 23% of the total Noble laureates
  • 38% of the leading philanthropists
  • 24% of Fortune's 25 most powerful people in business
  • 37% Academy Award winning directors
  • 51% Pulitzer Prize for non fiction
  • 20% NBA top 10 coaches of all time
  • 21% of enrollment in ivy league schools
  • And the list goes on…

Whether you agree with the political side of the things or not, there is no denying that this is a group of high achievers. They managed to find strength in their adversity.

Here is an interesting story for you;

“One day a farmer's donkey fell into a well. The farmer frantically thought what to do as the stricken animal cried out to be rescued. With no obvious solution, the farmer regretfully concluded that as the donkey was old, and as the well needed to be filled in anyway, he should give up the idea of rescuing the beast, and simply fill in the well. Hopefully the poor animal would not suffer too much, he tried to persuade himself.

The farmer asked his neighbors help, and before long they all began to shovel earth quickly into the well. When the donkey realized what was happening he wailed and struggled, but then, to everyone's relief, the noise stopped.

After a while the farmer looked down into the well and was astonished by what he saw. The donkey was still alive, and progressing towards the top of the well. The donkey had discovered that by shaking off the dirt instead of letting it cover him, he could keep stepping on top of the earth as the level rose. Soon the donkey was able to step up over the edge of the well, and he happily trotted off."


Life is going to throw dirt at you, don’t let it overwhelm you; learn to use it to your advantage. Bad things do happen to good people. So the real question you need to ask yourself is, “Now that it has happened to me, how can I use my sorrow and pain to my advantage and be the best and most successful person I can be?” Remember success is the best revenge!

Friday, January 1, 2010

Dhyan Kar

.

Growing up in a small Punjabi town of Pakistan, “Dhyan Kar” or “Do Dhyan”was the advice I heard most from my elders and teachers. Anytime I would get distracted during my studies, eating my meal or doing any other work that required my undivided attention, someone was there to remind that I needed to do “Dhyan”.

Many years later, now that I have children of my own, I find myself giving them the same advice when they start playing with their pencils when they should really be finishing their homework, or when they insist on watching TV while they eat dinner. Although sometimes I end up using words like focus, concentrate, pay attention, in a hope to convey my message better. But what I really want to convey to them is “Dhyan Kar”.

What is it about “Dhyan” that get’s passed on from one generation to another? Is this just a common sense advice or is there something more to it? Dhyan is a common expression used with slight variations in my parts of the subcontinent. The origin of this word can be traced to the Sanskrit word “Dhyaan” or “Dhyana”.

The advice of Dhyan has been given by teachers, poets and philosophers throughout the centuries. Bulleh Shah, a sufi poet and philosopher from18th century Punjab, offers his advice of Dhyan this way;

Kar Kattan Wal Dhyan KuRe
Aj ghar wich nawin kapah kurre
Toon jhab jhab wilna dah kurre
Roon weel panjawan jah kurre
Mur kal na tera jaan kurre
Kar kattan wal dheaan kurre


(Do Dhyan to weaving, There is new cotton crop in the house, so get your weaving wheel ready, you should go get the cotton made out of the crop. Tomorrow you will be no more, so do Dhyan to weaving.)

Nanak Dev, commonly known as Baba Nanak or Guru Nanak Dev Ji, - a famous 16th century mystic from Punjab - has described three stages of knowledge;

  • Suniai – Learning through listening. It is concerned with perceptual knowledge.
  • Manne – Learning through refection. It is concerned with rational knowledge.
  • Dhyan – Learning through contemplation or single-minded focus. Dhyan is the purest form of knowledge which results into a convergence of knower, known and the knowing. Dhyan, according to Baba Nanak is going beyond the habitual perception and is about being one with what is being perceived.

If we go further back in history, we find that Buddha taught the same concept to the people in Northern India 2500 years ago. It has been said the at one time a visitor asked Buddha what he and his followers do when they get together. Buddha looked at him with a gentle smile and said, "when we are together, we sit, we eat and we walk". The visitor was completely puzzled by Buddha’s answer. He did not expect such a simplistic sounding answer from a wise man like Buddha. He implored Buddha further and asked. How is that any special? Everyone does that? Sensing his puzzlement, Buddha explained, “When we sit, we know that we are sitting, when we eat we know we are easting and when we walk we know we are walking”. What a profound answer!

What was Buddha trying to teach that person? A simple lesson in Dhyan: it’s not what you do; it’s how you do it; what mindfulness you bring to what you do; what Dhyan you bring to what you do. Difference between extraordinary and ordinary is Dhyan, our mindfulness, our awareness. Ordinary becomes extraordinary if we bring the right awareness to it. And extraordinary becomes ordinary if we don’t do it with awareness and mindfulness.


Famous Urdu poet Faiz once said;
jis dhaj say gaya koi maqtal mein wo shan salamat rahti hai
ye jan to aani jani hai is jan ki koi baat nahein


(What is everlasting is the grace with which you walk towards your execution chamber
Life has to end anyway; it really is not that important)

Beauty of “Dhyan” did not stay confined to the Subcontinent. In a rather unique convergence of events, the message of Dhyan spread from India to China by an Indian named Bodhidharma who travelled to China in 5th century. Bodhidharma stayed in storied Shaolin Temple for many years and taught his disciples how Dhyan could help them gain true wisdom through direct experience . In next few centuries, Dhyan, or as Chinese came to call it Ch’an, blended with the local traditions of Tao and spread throughout China. To this date, the wisdom of Ch’an continues to fascinate countless seekers.


From China, in 6th century, philosophy of Dhyan spread to Vietnam where it came to be known as Thien. Koreans called it Seon, when they learned of the idea from a Chinese philosopher named Mazu. During the 12th and 13th century, philosophy of Dhyan started reaching the island of Japan. Word Zen was the Japanese attempt the pronounce Ch’an. Very soon, every aspect of Japanese life was influenced by the Zen philosophy. In Japanese Zen, the distinction between sacred and mundane was eliminated. Japanese discovered that average could be changed into special when it’s performed with Zen. They discovered that even an ordinary act of drinking tea becomes extraordinary when it’s done with Zen or Dhyan. In Japan drinking tea is unlike anywhere else in the world; it’s an elaborate ceremony, called the Way of Tea, performed with great reverence and complete mindfulness. Preparation, presentation and drinking of tea are a performance. Rooms where tea is served are built and decorated a certain way and treated as temples. When people enter these rooms they must free their minds from all other thoughts, they are totally focused on the tea ceremony - the Way of Tea. Tea is not the goal, it’s the way. They become one with the ceremony. Ordinary becomes extraordinary!



Following Zen Haiku, which is about something ordinary but profoundly extraordinary at the same time, shows Zen’s influence on Japanese mind.

A single butterfly
Fluttering and drifting
In the wind

The philosophy of Zen was introduced to the United States in early 20th century by Japanese Zen master Soyen Shaku. It did not take long for Americans to fall in love with it too. These days the word of Zen is part of American vernacular and the philosophy of Zen is more relevant and meaningful to a society marred by countless sources of distraction and diversion. Today, Zen has become synonymous to peace, single-minded focus, now, serenity and mindfulness. The simplicity of the message continues to fascinate the legions of seekers around the world.

Unfortunately, there is no word in English language that could truly capture the essence of the philosophy of Dhyan or Zen. Words like focus, concentrate, meditate all come close but all of these words require an object to focus, concentrate or meditate on. Dhyan is more like just being there or just being. Dhyan also means being aware and mindful; it means cutting yourself off from past and future and being one with whatever it’s that you are doing.

How does Dhyan make a difference? Well, let’s talk about a simple activity of taking a walk in the park. Most people go to the park for a walk and only thing they get out of it is a little bit of physical activity. Their body is in the park but their mind is not there. They are still thinking about all sorts of stuff; unpaid bills, bad economy, law and order situation, terrorism, etc, etc. Their mind is either regretting the past or is fearful of the future, it’s not enjoying the beautiful present which is right in front of them. They hardly notice anything in the park; the flowers, the birds, the breeze, the sun set, everything goes unnoticed.

A walk with Dhyan or a Zen Walk is not like this; it is a mindful walk; it’s a walk that rejuvenates and refreshes. It connects you with the nature. When you walk with Dhyan, your mind is not wondering around. It’s right there with you in the park. When you walk with Dhyan you feel the breeze on your face; you let the whiff of the nature takes you over; you touch the trees and leaves and feel their freshness; you listen to the sounds of birds and insects; you savor the sights of the beautiful sunset. You use all your senses to be part of the present moment. Your Dhyan is in what you doing that very moment. You become one with the park. You become the park.

Same way, you can eat food the ordinary way, with a mind full of endless chatter and useless thoughts or you could eat it with full mindfulness and Dhyan. When you eat your food with Dhyan, you start off by being thankful for the food, you look into the eyes and connect with the people on the table, you touch the food to feel its texture; you smell its aroma, you relish its taste, you praise the cook for preparing the delicious food. A ordinary dinner eaten with Dhyan becomes a Zen dinner.

Here is how Hafiz, a famous Sufi poet, describes listening with Dhyan.

How do I listen to others?
As if everyone was my master
Speaking to me his cherished last words


An ordinary activity becomes extraordinary when it’s done with Dhyan. If you keep doing all your ordinary activities with Dhyan, all your activities become extraordinary activities. And if all your activities are extraordinary, your life becomes extraordinary. If you want to experience true Dhyan; stop judging and just be with the moment. Decluttere your mind from thoughts, all thoughts. Don't think about what it should be, just feel it the way it is. Notice everything about it, without judging. Stop swimming, start floating. There is a difference between the two. When you swim, water is your enemy; you have to resist it to avoid drowning. But when you float, water becomes your friend; you allow water to let you stay afloat. There is no struggle, no resistance, no judgment. You become one with water. You become water... that is ultimate Dhyan.

Live with Dhyan, every moment, every day, and you will discover excellence in everything that you do. Bring back Dhyan to your work, study, walk, prayer - to everything you do and start experiencing this miracle called life. Albert Einstein once said, “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” Everything in life can be a miracle for you in you can choose to live it with Dhyan.

The long journey of “Dhyan” is not only fascinating; it’s also a testament to a simple but profound philosophy captured in a single word. Throughout the ages, many traditions, ceremonies and rituals have been added to this philosophy; some of these additions have enriched Dhyan, others have just complicated a simple message. But the philosophy of Dhyan has never lost its soul. At its core, it remains a simple, common-sense advice that I first heard from grandma;


Dhyan kar puttar!

(Do Dhyan, son)